We Just Want To Belong

Left out

I tweeted this earlier this week: “I tell my kids they are silly to worry about being left out of something, then it happens to me & I am consumed with it.”. The tweet was inspired by an emotion that may seem silly on the surface, but strikes at something that never goes away – the need to belong.

I remember standing on the sideline in 2nd grade as teams were chosen for soccer and being crushed as they fought over who had to take me last.

The many lunch tables through the school years that I would have killed to be invited to sit at.

The Friday night parties that I hear second hand about on Monday.

The big project at work that I wasn’t asked to be a part of.

No matter what kind of image we put out, underneath the surface, all of us have this longing to belong. We just want someone to ask us to be a part of something. Most new people do not walk into your church looking for amazing music. They can find that somewhere else on Saturday night. They aren’t just looking for preaching that will have them laughing and crying at the same time. They could have stayed home and found that on tv.

They want to matter to someone else.

Discipleship should be the goal, but friendship is the entry. Everyone needs a tribe and we have to work extra hard to help them find it. Anyone up for a game of soccer?


About Chris Surratt

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with over twenty-three years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee, and Seacoast Church in Charleston, South Carolina. He is also the Discipleship and Small Group Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. Chris's first book, Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes, was just released by Thomas Nelson.

Posted on April 24, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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