Monthly Archives: September 2013

Choose Your Friends Wisely

friends-fingers

We continued our series Sabotage this week by looking at making wise choices when it comes to the people that our in our inner circle of friends. Our panel is kicking off our community groups discussion time talking about how those closest to us can influence who we become.

You can download the study guide here: Sabotage Week 4 Study

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Searching For Identity

identity

I have searched my entire life for my identity. At different stages I thought I had found it, and was semi-ok with it, only to see it suddenly shift and the unending search was on again.

In high-school, I found it in sports. I wasn’t the greatest athlete, but I was good enough to receive a few accolades along the way. I loved being the guy known for THAT game that no one will forget. Until they did.

College started another search when the reality of being 5’9″ tall hit. I started out with a scholarship in music and decided that could be a good path for some identification. The musician card played out pretty well. I was able to make a living for the next several years, and LOVED being known as the guy on stage playing keyboard. I even grew my hair long so I could look the part. Until it started falling out.

The next stop on the identity train was moving from the back of the stage to the front. If I started a church, people would finally see the full potential of my gifts. I wouldn’t just be known as a the musician, but as THE pastor. That was all cool until I realized how insulated it had been standing behind a keyboard on the back of the stage. The pressure was on.

Now, I am no longer on a stage every week. My jump shot left right after the knees did. My daughter is becoming a much better piano player than I ever was. I am finally learning to lean more and more into Ephesians 2:10:

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I was created in Christ Jesus to do good works. That’s it. That’s my identity.

But why is that so hard to find?

 

I Am Always Right

Our groups will continue their Sabotage study this week by discussing how having an “I am always right” attitude can destroy your relationships. To get the group time started, we filmed a panel of people in different stages of life talking about how that attitude has affected their relationships.

You can download the study guide here: Sabotage Week 2

Week 1 Of Sabotage

I wrote in an earlier post about how important it is for our small groups to all study the same thing a couple of times a year. We kicked off our fall, church wide campaign on Sunday with our series on relationships, Sabotage. To help groups get the discussion started, we shot videos of a panel of people in different stages of their relationships.

Here is the video for week 1 of Sabotage.

Why Do We Sabotage?

Sabotage

All you need us love.

At least that’s what John Lennon proposed in 1967. But only if it was that was that easy.

You see, Paul (the one in the Bible, not the other Beatle) fleshed that thought out a little more when he wrote to the Corinthians,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Yes, we do need love, but love comes with some expectations. It is amazing how many relationships I have tried to sabotage because of my messed up expectations.

I tried to sabotage my marriage the first year because I missed the part where love is supposed to not be self-seeking and easily angered. I thought at 21 years old and broke, all you need is blissful love to be happily married.

I have sabotaged friendships in my life because I skipped over the part where love is patient. I left friends behind thinking that they couldn’t keep up with where I am going.

I have refused to restore past relationships because my version of love is still keeping records of perceived, past wrongs.

Most of the time I don’t even realize that I am wrecking relationships until it’s too late. That is why we will be spending the next few weeks at Cross Point identifying those 6 underlying behaviors that all of us use to sabotage the relationships around us.