Why Do We Sabotage?


All you need us love.

At least that’s what John Lennon proposed in 1967. But only if it was that was that easy.

You see, Paul (the one in the Bible, not the other Beatle) fleshed that thought out a little more when he wrote to the Corinthians,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Yes, we do need love, but love comes with some expectations. It is amazing how many relationships I have tried to sabotage because of my messed up expectations.

I tried to sabotage my marriage the first year because I missed the part where love is supposed to not be self-seeking and easily angered. I thought at 21 years old and broke, all you need is blissful love to be happily married.

I have sabotaged friendships in my life because I skipped over the part where love is patient. I left friends behind thinking that they couldn’t keep up with where I am going.

I have refused to restore past relationships because my version of love is still keeping records of perceived, past wrongs.

Most of the time I don’t even realize that I am wrecking relationships until it’s too late. That is why we will be spending the next few weeks at Cross Point identifying those 6 underlying behaviors that all of us use to sabotage the relationships around us.


About Chris Surratt

Chris Surratt is a ministry consultant and coach with over twenty-three years of experience serving the local church. Chris served on the Executive Teams at Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee, and Seacoast Church in Charleston, South Carolina. He is also the Discipleship and Small Group Specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources. Chris's first book, Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to Design Your Small Groups System to Reach the Fringes, was just released by Thomas Nelson.

Posted on September 5, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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